I wanted to share with you, my experience of coping with the passing of a loved one, in my case my mum.
Mum was a beautiful being, she was honest, giving, loyal and put almost everybody before herself – a typical mum! She had experienced a difficult life, with seven children to raise on a meagre income, but boy she was a fighter.
Mum had suffered with ill-health for some time, mainly breathing difficulties due to a lifetime of smoking and after dad died, her health deteriorated further more. She spent her last years in a nursing home, save for a short spell living with me and my family.
As mums health became progressively worse, she contracted lung cancer which I think upset everybody else except her (another sign of her fighting nature). As she was ill anyway, the doctors were unable to offer any kind of treatment. She was resigned to the fact that she didn’t have long to go, yet insisted on continuing to smoke until she physically couldn’t make it out of her room.
Being a Spiritualist made this time more bearable for me, as I knew that this was not going to be the end, but merely a transition. Other members of my family however, did find it difficult to cope with.
As mum grew ever more weaker, the nursing home staff had us complete an ‘end of life’ form, which dealt with issues like funeral arrangements, whether mum would want last rites read or a priest to be present, that kind of thing. It was times like this that brought home the reality of what was imminent.
In the weeks before mums passing, I noticed that her room had taken on a more spiritual feeling, as if there were spirits present. This was confirmed when mum told me one day that she had seen her mum sat in the chair across from her bed, definitely nana’s spirit as she had passed over some 20 years ago.
I sensed that mum was waiting for something or someone before she felt she could pass over, however when I spoke to her about it, she said she wasn’t waiting for anybody.
A few days before mum passed, she became quite agitated and restless, a sign that her time was near. the nursing staff gave her medication to control this, which helped. She was now confined to her bed though and conversation was difficult due to her illness affecting her brain.
The day mum passed over was a typical Monday. I was in work as usual and received a phone call at 9.15 to say mum was now gravely ill. Thankfully I work only a five-minute drive from the nursing home, so I was the first of my siblings to get there.
When I arrived, mums room felt very serene. She was in bed, no movement from her body except the shallow rise and fall of her breathing. I held her hand which was cold and shocked me a little. The nursing staff said that mums body had closed down and only her heart was working.
With tears in my eyes, I sat with mum and said everything that I wanted to. I told her that I loved her and that I would see her soon.
Shortly after, my brothers and sisters arrived and we all surrounded mum. Nobody spoke, we just waited.
At 9.40am on September 01 2012, mum passed away peacefully with her family at her side.
The seconds before she went were the most intense yet peaceful seconds I have ever spent on this Earth.
I could sense the Angels at my side, taking mum by the hand to be with her loved ones. She was happy, free from the pain and suffering that she had endured.
After she had passed over, there was an outpouring of grief. But there was also an element of happiness, happiness that we had been there to say goodbye and also that we knew her suffering had ended.
I wanted to share this story with you in the hope that you may gain an understanding that our time here on Earth may be blighted with pain, suffering and hardship but that in reality, we are spiritual beings who will find happiness and peace.